DBecoming parents at 40 is increasingly popular. A common choice in recent years for various reasons, especially socio-economic ones. A decision that has prosfor example greater emotional, psychological and even economic stability, but at the same time also some “cons”such as biological aspects that can make pregnancy itself complex. As the expert explains.
Becoming parents at 40, the situation in Italy. And not only that
The progressive increase in the average age at the birth of the first child has risen throughout Europe and, in general, in Western society. Different factors contribute to the situation, certainly socio-economic but also cultural and individual. A fact that involves not only women, but also men. In 2024, Istat highlighted that in Italy the average age of men who become fathers is 35.8 yearswith an increase in those who become so between the ages of 45-50. In France the average age stops at 33.9 years and in Germany at 33.2.
A phenomenon, the Italian one, which is becoming much more frequent and which concerns as many as 70% of new fathers. That is, 1 in 3 men over the age of 36 does not yet have children. A situation which, as for women, has consequences on pregnancy, both positive and negative: «The choice to become parents around the age of 40 has some relevant implications. Not only on a biological level but also on a psychological, relational and developmental level of the child” explains the Dr. Beatrice Casoni, specialist in Psychiatry at the ErreEsse Dental Medical Clinic in Ferrara. Implications which, however, are not always critical or negative.
The “pros” of becoming parents after 40
A a fundamental aspect of becoming a parent after the age of 40 is psychological maturity and parenting skills. «From a psychological point of view, one of the The main benefits of late parenthood are greater emotional maturity. Numerous studies indicate that as age advances, emotional regulation, mentalization and stress management skills increase. These skills are fundamental in the parent-child relationship, as they favor a more reflective, less impulsive and more listening-oriented educational style».
In this sense, anyone who becomes a parent at this age has a greater awareness of its role: «The decision to have a child at an older age is often the result of a deliberate process. In the psychological field, this intentionality is correlated with higher levels of emotional involvement and responsibility towards the child’s needs, central elements for building a secure attachment.”
Added to this is also one greater psychosocial and environmental stability: «From a scientific point of view, the economic and relational stability typical of many mature couples constitutes a protective factor for child development. A predictable and structured environment reduces exposure to chronic stresswhich the literature associates with negative emotional and cognitive outcomes in children.” As the expert then explains, there is also research that shows how children of older parents have greater cognitive stimuli and greater cultural and language richness. Therefore with benefits on linguistic development, executive functions and social-emotional skills.
From biology to physical fatigue, the “cons” of late parenthood
Surely the first problem of a late pregnancy is the biological aspect and possible medical risks. «It is known that fertility progressively decreases with age, especially in women but not only. Added to this is an increased risk of obstetric complications and chromosomal anomalies. These factors can affect the psychological well-being of future parents, increasing anxiety, worries and stress levels during pregnancy. Advanced paternal age is also the subject of growing scientific attention. Some evidence links increasing father’s age to a slightly increased risk of neurodevelopmental disorders, although the mechanisms are complex and multifactorial.”
Added to this is normal physical fatigue and a decline in psychological resources. Early sleep deprivation and the commitment required can be costly after age 40. «If not adequately managed, this stress can impact the quality of parent-child interactions. It is therefore essential that mature parents can count on one social and family support network, recognized by psychology as a key protective factor against burnout parental”.
The problem of the future should also not be underestimated. As the expert specifies, in the various studies conducted, parents highlighted the fear of not being able to accompany their children in all phases of their lives. And this aspect «from a psychological point of view, can activate anxious experiences and promote greater emotional intensity and presence in the daily relationship with the child”. Last, but not least, the change that a child brings to their life and routine can be very destabilizing, even more so at 40, also causing confusion and frustration.
«Becoming parents after 40 is acomplex experience involving biological, psychological and social dimensions. Scientific evidence shows how Emotional maturity, psychosocial stability and intentional parenting can represent important resources for child development. At the same time, difficulties related to health, fatigue and stress management require awareness and adequate support. Ultimately, the quality of parenting does not depend on chronological age. But from the ability to integrate personal, relational and environmental resources to respond in a sensitive and balanced way to the child’s needs” concludes the expert.