Gthem psychologists they call it “Third Space”: it’s not home, it’s not school, but a place of laughter among friendsof secrets whispered on a bench, of improvised games in the courtyard and videos shared on TikTok. It’s that afternoon in the library where you pretend to study, but in reality you discover your first loves. It is a place away from the eyes of parents. «Friendship relationships in the absence of adults are fundamental for growth» explains the psychologist Matteo Lancini. However, beyond the nice speeches, Italian parents still live a great dilemma and conflict between the desire to protect and the need to let go.
Tween: Parents are afraid to let them grow up
This is revealed in research promoted by Ringo, The “iconic biscuits with an inimitable cream”and by AstraRicerche, which photographed the daily life of Italian tweens, aged 7 to 14, and the delicate balance between freedom, security and trust. In continuity with the “Between us there is more taste!” campaign, on air since September, Ringo has chosen to give voice to this need for autonomy of pre-adolescents making parents aware of the importance of the so-called Third Spaces and trying to remove some doubts from them.
Autonomy, but with the handbrake on
The question, in fact, is not so obvious. It is rather contradictory, if anything: in fact, although 90% of parents recognize the “Third Space” as fundamental for growth, only one in three actually grants it and let your children enjoy moments without supervision. What holds us back are fears: for physical safety, for “bad company”, for the unpredictability of the world. And so, between homework, sports and TV, the time for autonomy is increasingly limited. Even if it is right there, between a sports field and a neighborhood library, that the first real relationships are built.
Those times and places between home and school, without the constant direction of adults, are fundamental for growth and autonomy
Digital is also a “Third Space”
Also worth considering the “Third Space” today, it’s no longer just the backyard or the bench when leaving school. For almost half of tweens, 44%, this place it has also moved online, where people watch, share and talk. Social media, especially YouTube and TikTok, capture attention with short, immediate videos, perfect for a generation that communicates through images and reactions. But this world also intimidates parents.
Not just fun, the Internet is also used for studying
Furthermore, digital is not just entertainment. From Ringo’s research it emerges that between 11 and 14 years old, the web also becomes a tool for study and relationshipsmore than among 7-10 year olds. The methods of access also change: the youngest surf with a parent next to them, 56%, while the older ones do it alone, 39%. A transition that marks an important step: autonomy is not only played out in physical places, but also in managing time and online relationships. And if on the one hand digital opens up spaces for dialogue within the family, on the other it can generate moments of isolation.
Let them go, without disappearing
«School, sports and organized activities are not enough. You need to explore yourself in the world – Matteo Lancini still remembers. – Relationships between peers, without adults, are fundamental for growth. It’s up to us parents to let them go, not just organize.” It is an invitation to trust. To create spaces, real and digital, where kids can laugh, make mistakes, choose. A bit like Ringo does, which has accompanied these moments for generations with a biscuit that unites: two different halves, held together by a cream that tastes like sharing. Growing up, in short, is a subtle balance: between freedom and presence, between mistakes and discoveriesbetween who we are and who we are becoming. Third Space is where all this takes shape. The task of adults? It’s not disappearing, but just stay at a distance, but always close enough to be found. When needed.
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