Sn emotional dependence we are often told how to recognize it, how to get out of it and what to avoid or, on the contrary, to enhance about ourselves and our interpersonal relationships. But no one tells us what can happen next.
Finally free from emotional dependence
Probably because each path is unique and different, but presumably also because the truth is more complex and multifaceted than one might assume. Over time as a psychotherapist and researcher I have collected many responses from people who have faced and then overcome a romantic emotional dependence and each of these responses tells a possible piece of truth and authenticity. For example, there are those who have found a freedom never experienced before, who found himself after being lostwho is reborn with new eyes, who has finally discovered what it means to truly love.
And then there are those who are still in the middle of the journey, curious to know what comes next. This article is for all of you: for those who are already beyond it, for those who are still on the journey and for those who have just started looking for themselves.
In fact, we stop idealizing the other
When recovery from the condition of emotional dependence begins to be glimpsed, it can be difficult and you can falter: yes in fact he stops idealizing the other And instead we begin to see it for how it really is.
At the same time we begin (or start again) to see yourselfeven the parts never wanted and those never met. That the void that once filled the other is now all ours and this can be scary and can cause anxiety. Sometimes to the point that it may be tempting to go back: we actually miss a bit of that emotional drama which, however toxic and dysfunctional, previously made us feel alive.
In search of a new balance
However, healing breaks balances and going back to old patterns might seem simpler and more linear than looking forward. Healing also means crossing our shadows. It is therefore not just about feeling good: it is also about knowing yourself, learning to be with your own solitude and understanding that in reality you are never alone if you are present with yourself and to yourself. It is consequently giving a name and meaning to one’s needs and then trying to satisfy them, respecting them and experimenting.
We begin to choose (really)
It is therefore a process of awareness and then questioning which is profound, not immediate nor easy and fast, and is characterized by many first times. But if you resist and stay then everything can really change: you no longer depend but choose, you don’t cancel yourself but you meet, you don’t cling but share. This usually allows you to learn to love yourself and consequently to learn to love and make another person love you in a finally healthy and constructive way.
When loving hurts, the book on emotional addiction
THE’Lovein its healthiest and most constructive manifestations, represents a profound and innate human needand implies an important motivation and a secure and functional attachment to others. Vice versa, when love turns into a habit of sufferingto the point of becoming what is defined as a real “emotional addiction”, presents itself as a pain capable of causing serious problems psychological, physical and relational.
In this condition, increasingly widespread in the contemporary world, the couple’s relationship is experienced as an indispensable prerequisite for one’s existence and this represents the antithesis of self-love.
In this volume the author provides an in-depth, complete and detailed examination of emotional addiction, based on an exhaustive analysis of the currently existing scientific literature.
The objective is to provide the reader with a clear idea of what emotional dependence is, how it is conceptualized and how it can manifest itself. As well as his own causes and strategies and intervention techniques to face and overcome it.