Oh, Matthijs de Ligt, how happy I am for him. It was a sub-clause in the message about his re-selection for the Dutch team: “I have my mindset changed. At first I didn’t want to make any mistakes, now I want to do as many things right as possible.” It seems like a small difference, but it is anything but.
He did not look confident in his game for a long time, said national coach Ronald Koeman. That’s exactly what happens when you don’t want to make mistakes: you become insecure. You don’t dare, you freeze. You don’t experiment with the ball. Because that can go wrong. It sounds simple to change your mindset, but it’s not that easy. That is very difficult, and almost impossible without outside help.
So I was thinking, and suddenly the penny dropped. Matthijs de Ligt has been playing football in England since 2024, at Manchester United. And who else walks around in England? Correct! Sarina Wiegman. The women’s national coach may be, but there is no other option than for the two to meet in secret.
Last week Wiegman was a guest of Eva Jinek, and she said: “I think making mistakes is crucial. If you play to win, you have to take action. If you take action, you can do something brilliant, but you can also make a mistake. If you want to prevent that, you play not to lose. There is no energy in that, and no adventure. I think you want to look for that. You have to make mistakes, otherwise you learn nothing.”
What is it with making mistakes? Our children are raised as if the world will end if you make a mistake. Many people don’t even dare to make a decision for fear that it will be the wrong one. While wrong decisions are actually the most interesting: you learn about yourself from them. That makes you grow as a person. If you look at it this way, bad decisions don’t even exist.
Wiegman thinks the same way. She encourages her players to make mistakes. And when they do, she calmly discusses the mistakes. She does not get angry: “I don’t think shouting and complaining is part of it at the top. You can be clear and talk about performance and behavior. But that doesn’t have to be done by putting pressure on someone by raising your voice or intimidation. I don’t believe in that at all.”
Let this now be confirmed by scientific research from the University of Ghent. Professor Leen Haerens has surveyed countless athletesand time and time again it appears that a positive, supportive coaching style works best. If you give athletes responsibility and talk about mistakes in a positive way, they will perform best and become most creative and independent. It certainly sounds like raising children.
But hey, we’re talking about top sport here. That’s hard, not soft. Athletes have to be able to take a beating, I hear you think. Letting out your inner José Mourinho every now and then is fine. Wrong. It is a persistent misunderstanding that even occasional shouting has an effect, according to research by Ghent University.
Sarina Wiegman has a good understanding of how to be a really good coach. And although they will never say it out loud, it can only be that she secretly helped Matthijs de Ligt with his insecurities over an English cup of tea.
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