THEN love, is the age difference a problem? Is the age just a number or are there actual difficulties in a couple who have an important personal difference? Today this aspect may no longer be a taboo in society: «Today we can say that the Taboo on the age difference in the couple is widely overcome. What was once judged with suspicion, especially in the presence of a marked generational gap, is now much more socially accepted. The registry age has lost most of its weight: what really matters is emotional maturity, harmony between partners and the ability to build a solid relationship »explains the doctor Michela France, psychotherapist and head of the hospital psychology service at City of Lecce Hospital.
Love, the age difference: reason of social disapproval?
For some, age is only a number, for others “love wins over everything”. But is it really the case? Is the so -called age gap, that is, a difference in age marked in love, is still seen as a problem especially in society? Apparently yes: second in fact several studies, The company is ready to point the finger when the difference is very brand. In fact it seems that social approval only arrives if the difference is between 10-15 years. Beyond this range, the negative judgment tends to spread. The confirmation also comes from the couples themselves: In fact, it seems that in Western countries only 8% couples is made up of people who have an age difference over 15 years, And even only 1% is made up of couples where the woman is much bigger than man.
In short, what are called “asymmetrical couples”, precisely because of the age, still feel the weight of the negative judgment of the company. But is it really so even on a psychological level? “The age difference can become a obstacle only if it is reflected in divergences in the values, in the life objectives or in the evolutionary phase that each partner is going through»Explains the psychotherapist. In other words, The age difference is never “too much”, because there is no universal rule and each couple is a world in itself: «It is clear that the registry distance can involve different experiences and prospects, but if there is mental elasticity, desire to understand each other and a good communication, even a large age gap can work. In the absence of these components, even a couple between peers can fail ».
The importance of finding a balance
Doubts when the age gap is quite obviously there are. One above all is if These relationships are intended to shipwreck or not And as the expert explains, the secret is in compatibility and balance: “The age difference does not in itself condemn a relationship to bankruptcy. Couples who share values workvision of the future, ability to face the difficulties together, empathy, dialogue and mutual esteem. In the presence of an Age Gap, It may be more important to develop good relational flexibility, or the ability to compromise, Understand the other, accept diversity as a resource. When this opening is missing, and each remains anchored to their needs, then the difference in the registry can amplify the conflict ».
Therefore compared to peer partners, The compromise in these cases becomes a real art.
Younger partner, why do you choose it?
“The reasons can be manifold and not necessarily pathological or dictated by insecurities. In those who have already experienced important relationships or out of a marriage, for example, the choice of a younger partner can respond to the desire for lightness, vitality, spontaneity. For some, however, The age difference is a form of compensation: the youngest seeks reassurance, experience, stability. The largest, however, can find new energy or a fresh look at life ». It is then necessary Also add an evolutionary component: If it is the man who chooses a younger partner, often and more or less aware, is also made for logic related to fertility.
Is the choice of a younger partner only male prerogative? “Noindeed more and more women who choose younger men, so much so that they are labeled like cougar. The dynamics today are changing: women are more independent and aware, and the choice of a younger or bigger partner It can reflect an emotional need, a life project or simply affinity. In the same way, even in men there is a greater attention to the theme of aging and a desire to feel still active and attractive. In other words, it is not said that if a man chooses a younger woman it is because this is perceived as the “trophy wife”, indeed. Even if there are still cases in which the choice of a partner all the more young or the bigger responds to deeper needsI: difficulty in maturing, fear of aging, need for narcissistic confirmations. In these cases, the relationship can become instrumental and the most fragile relationship »concludes Dr. France.
I woman © RESERVED REPRODUCTION