The life of a top athlete is certainly not getting more fun. You had to be very careful with vitamin tablets and food in distant places, now also a bit of tasty tongues with a nice unknown to risky has been explained. Before you know it, your date has a line of something or the other, and you get a forbidden agent in your body when exchanging body juices.
Sound like the most recent excuse with which doping sinners argue innocently? By no means. The subject was discussed this month at a sports conference in London, with tennis player Richard Gasquet as an example. In 2009 a cocaine was found during a doping test. Fortunately he had stored the telephone number of the woman he had kissed in a club in Miami, and she could testify: Yes, we tongued, after I had sniffed coke. Through her saliva the drug had ended up in the body of the tennis player. There was acquittal for Gasquet.
Just like the danger of meat in other continents or taking a vitamin pill that does not come from the right jar, the risks of tongues are known in the top sport world, According to Vincent Engbers of the Dutch doping authority. It was something new for me. Now I have not been rating for ten years, it will be due to that, and that is a good thing. Because I always thought it was a hassle to get the right multivitamins.
I was comparing endless production numbers of pots in the Etos: the pills in itself are all allowed, but they are produced in places where other means are also made, in the same machines, and if they are not cleaned properly, traces of the foregoing in the vitamins can come, and that can be a forbidden agent. All jars have a batch number, and a number of batches are guaranteed that they are ‘clean’. If you do test positive, you can show the batch number to advocate your innocence.
When I was still racing, I sometimes went to China for a stage race. There you had to be careful for Clenbuterol – you remember that Cero Cero Cero (etc) Cinco Gram in a piece of meat that Alberto Contador had eaten in 2010. Or maybe it was conscious doping. There was no evidence. Clenbuterol is an asthma medicine, but also a muscle -strengthening slimming agent. It is therefore forbidden for athletes, but is administered to cattle in some places. I don’t know if there are many cows walking around with asthma, but the meat becomes nice and juicy and fat -free, and therefore more expensive.
So we didn’t eat meat in China. Washed fruit and vegetables were not allowed, because of the risk of becoming sick. There was hardly any cooked vegetables in the hotel where we stayed with the entire peloton. So that meant that we lived for two weeks on a diet of bare rice with soy sauce. Don’t die, but I don’t have a good memory of meals in China.
And now uninhibited tongues is no longer possible. Not only do you have to keep track of your whereabouts, but also install a file with contact details of your onenight stands. I’m curious how that goes in the pub. Do you want to kiss? Yes? Ho, wait a minute. Please fill in this form first. Just draw on the line. And now come here, with that tongue.