By Mary-Lou Künzel and Konstantin Marrach

    Let’s be honest: What do you pay particular attention to on a first date? How important is your partner’s loyalty to you? And what are your secret sex desires?

    The online portal ElitePartner asked more than 6,000 of its members these and other piquant questions. The data for the capital has now been evaluated exclusively for the BZ.

    With some amazing results.

    The most important facts for the partner search

    ► The fact that the potential partner is sensitive and affectionate is more important across Germany (85.7 percent) than in the capital (78.7 percent).

    ► When looking for love, singles in the capital, regardless of whether they are straight or homosexual, attach great importance to humor (83.2 percent), intelligence (77.1 percent) and a thirst for adventure (49.4 percent).

    ► The survey also revealed that Berliners are more tolerant and open when it comes to dating and getting to know each other.

    Yannick (29) and Nadja (29) from Mitte have been together for six months.  “In addition to loyalty, respectful interaction and appreciation are of course very important to us.  Otherwise a relationship doesn't work

    Yannick (29) and Nadja (29) from Mitte have been together for six months. “In addition to loyalty, respectful interaction and appreciation are of course very important to us. Otherwise a relationship doesn’t work” Photo: Ralf Gunther

    The most important facts for relationships

    ► While loyalty is important to Berliners, it is less crucial for the success of a relationship (83.2 percent) than the national average (88.8 percent).

    ► In capital city partnerships, it is increasingly important that the counterpart is assertive (57 percent) and professionally successful (41.9 percent).

    ► Characteristics such as fond of children and family-oriented are more relationship-relevant for average couples in Germany (67.6 percent) than for couples in the capital (63.9 percent).

    The most important facts about sex

    ► Here the Berliners are clearly more open and willing to experiment than the rest of the republic. For example, residents of the capital are more likely to share erotic desires and fantasies (50.5 percent) than other German couples (46.2 percent).

    ► In Berlin, the preferences for different positions (35.6 percent), dirty talk (17.4 percent), role-playing games (10.1 percent) and dominance (11.4 percent) are significantly more pronounced.

    Kath (36) and Sascha (39) from Steglitz have been together for eight years:

    Kath (36) and Sascha (39) from Steglitz have been together for eight years: “We learned from previous relationships that a loyal relationship with good communication is very important. But we can imagine that with social media and current times, younger relationships, especially in newer generations, are less lasting and more unfaithful because there is so much on offer.” Photo: Ralf Gunther

    ► On the other hand, the average German attaches more importance to intimacy and closeness during sexual intercourse and cuddling after sex than the Berliner.

    How can these differences be explained?

    “Berlin is a modern, cosmopolitan metropolis,” says psychologist Lisa Fischbach, who is also head of research at ElitePartner. “This freedom creates space for new forms of relationship, openly lived out sexuality and acceptance of people who enjoy their single life. Loyalty in the sense of sexual exclusivity is becoming less important and is being shaped more by new content relating to the quality of the relationship.”

    The expert emphasizes: “On average, more traditional lifestyles and conservatively anchored attitudes and values ​​prevail in rural regions.” People get married earlier and more often. “Therefore, desires for monogamy, a lifelong partnership and security are higher than the need for diverse experiences and experiments,” says Fischbach.

    Berlin is also more colorful when it comes to family models. Single-parent, rainbow and patchwork families are much more common in the capital than in the rest of the republic.

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